Lessons I’ve learned along the way…

I’ve experienced many great losses in my life, as most of us have, but my grandfather was the first deep, devastating loss. That shook me to the core because he was the only father figure and me role model I had growing up. His passing was a huge blow to me and my entire family.


I was 18 at the time and running the streets. I never really got closure with his passing until I reached my 20’s when I started opening up to the spirit plane. I became closer to him then when he was here on the earth. There is never a missed opportunity.


The next was a guy I was dating at the time named Sean. We had dated a few weeks and really hit it off in my 20’s. I was different than the women he dated as he was for me. The last time I saw him I was leaving his house. We talked about going to workout at the gym together and we’d meet up later.


I “paged” him, yes, back in those days beeped him. He never got back to me. He paged me the next day and I was like, nope, I’m not calling you back now. Tit for tat kinda thing. Well, 2 days later I was at work and read in the paper about his murder on my lunch break. A wrong place, wrong time kind of thing and the crazy part is that Sean hardly ever went out and that night he did.


Needless to say I was a hot mess. I ran to my area to tell my boss and clocked out. I drove to his house where his roommate confirmed the tragedy. I was heartbroken and devastated!


A huge lesson for me on many levels!


The next was my first love Josh. We “dated” when I was about 14ish on up. He loved the mess outta me but I had no idea how to love him back. I was a toughie and bad ass but he loved me anyways. He talked marriage and kids and scared the crap outta me. He eventually moved on to someone else who was willing to get serious …Yada yada


We kept in touch over the years and ran into each other often. I’d apologize for being an ass and we we would laugh about it. We teased and poked fun when we saw each other knowing the love was still there. Timing was always off with us. He’d have a girlfriend or I’d have a boyfriend etc…


I saw him out a few weeks before I found out he got killed and I was in my late 20’s then. We had a great talk and hug in passing. I teared up during our convo and he hugged me tight cuz he never saw me cry before. I smiled as he wiped away my tears not knowing that was our last time seeing each other. Looking back I guess my soul knew I’d never see him again.


It was another big blow to my heart and life. A moment I’d treasure forever but not knowing how often his ass would show up in my dreams and meditations! Josh doesn’t show up as often because it was prohibiting my growth and expansion because I was relying too much on him for my comfort.

He told me in a meditation he was leaving and wouldn’t be back for a long time cuz he had work to do and I did too. I cried, pleaded, begged but to no avail. I knew he was right. I needed to let him go so he could evolve and help others.


He helped me get through one of the darkest moments of my life back then even though he was in the spirit plane. Josh guided and protected me. He showed me how heaven looked and felt. It was amazing! It felt like first falling in love and then multiplying it by 1,000! So powerful. If it wasn’t for him I don’t know how I would have made it through that time period.


This is just a brief example of how people and animals can still work with us after their passing and continue to help us heal.

Josh showed up tonight in my meditation to say hello and tell me how fine he is. LOL That’s him to the tee.


My grandpa pops in more now that my grandma is gone. They’re together now and happy once again. That warms my heart


Sean was very present with me during his transition and I’ve felt him minimally through these past decades but that’s ok. Our bond was different yet important for my journey.


Each a blow to knock me over, crush some pieces off of my soul and make me change parts of myself that were necessary to get me here today.


With a relieved, yet heavy heart, I’m happy they’re all at peace and guiding me along. Each playing a huge part of who I am today because of that great love, loss and each devastating departure. I’m so grateful for my connection with them and that they pop in every so often to say hello.


Your loved ones do too especially during this holiday season.


Blessings and love to you all!



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